My son just had his fourth birthday, how can that be? I have read a thousand times about how it goes by so fast. You blink and they are in college. Well, lately it seems like it is true. Cue the nostalgic mamma video with his whole life cooped up in a four minute song (it was a coincidence but hey, it worked perfectly).
It is hard to imagine how not so long ago I could not even go to the bathroom alone or take my eyes off him while he played; I was afraid he might get hurt or maybe burn the house down. Even though every new stage presents its challenges, I cannot help but feel that some of the toughest parts are behind us. If you are a parent to a teenager, you are probably laughing so hard, I know. However, it is easier to believe that for now.
The diaper era is long gone, the sleeping hours are relatively good and the tantrums are kind of getting easier to manage? Ok, we are still working on that but overall I feel more relaxed. My baby is not even a toddler anymore and it is also bittersweet, let`s face it. He is starting to ask the most hilarious and philosophical questions and he can write his name. It all feels very surreal.
I find myself imagining when he is taller than I am, when he makes his own life decisions, which path will he choose? For now, I really try to stay present and suck in the little moments. The snuggles before bedtime, the little kisses and hugs, the face he makes when he is genuinely puzzled by a new concept. Such a bittersweet feeling.
Let us be honest, it is a huge relieve to see my child needs less of you and slowly but surely, you start to regain some of that space for yourself. At the same time, that feeling of never returning to that baby/toddler stage makes me deeply nostalgic… oh, the irony. I guess humans are simply wired that way.
I can only hope to continue being the best version of myself so my child feels supported, guided and loved. Because that is all that matters. Will he remember how many new clothes he got these year? No. Will he remember how his parents made him feel safe and contained every night? Absolutely. That sole realization feels my heart joy.
